i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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