my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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