life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
