Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
