just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ugly people sure do ruin things
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
