There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
