I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
