I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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