you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
