I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
