you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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