Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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