I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
