i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
