For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
