I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
