someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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