Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
