Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
