I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
