You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
