Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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