I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
