Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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