I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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