I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think people are normalizing furries
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
