Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
