Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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