Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
