I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
