He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
