I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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