i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
