We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
