2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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