I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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