He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
