Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
