He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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