If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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