I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
