Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
