Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
