Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize