I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
