We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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