i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
