Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
