my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
