Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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