Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
