Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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