I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
